It’s a scorching hot day and the swamp cooler in your trailer is working harder than an escort during the Superbowl. You decide to head down to the convenience store to get a cold beverage. What do you need to complete your mission?
iHeartRaves Booty Shorts
Shorts such as these are also a good test for your relationships. If you wear these booty shorts in public and your boyfriend/husband/boss get upset with you, then they are either a religious prude or are ashamed that you’d dress like that in public showing off your body.
You need a guy that is proud that you flaunt your body in public. If a talent scout from Brazzers tries recruiting you, then you know you’re on the right path.
Traditionally booty shorts are worn by athletic bodied girls to slightly chubby girls. Traditionally we also rode horses instead of motorcycles and cars. If you are a huge butt BBW who wants to rock a pair of booty shorts, then you go right ahead and do it.
As a larger girl you will get criticism, but ignore it. You’ll also get hard stares from guys who enjoy a plumper body style. If your man is ashamed that you are wearing booty shorts in public because of your body style, then you need to find a new man who’d be proud to stand next to you at the Kum & Go.
The iHeartRaves shorts come in 5 fidgety colors. Although the black booty shorts look sexy, the color is too common in clothing. I’d recommend the bright neon green shorts. Then when a guy gets busted staring at your butt by his girlfriend, he can just say “wow, that color is extremely bright!” His girlfriend will know that he wasn’t actually staring because of the color, but she won’t be able to prove it.
The downside of the brightly colored neon green shorts is that mosquitoes will be more attracted to it in the evening. You sure as hell don’t want the guys to see mosquitoes swarming your upper thighs. You could offset the mosquitoes by using an all natural mosquito repellant spray.
Sunscreen should be worn daily, even in the wintertime. Cancer is no joke. Most people seem to prefer a spray on sunblock, however, if you get a traditional cream you can always ask for help by getting that hot guy you’re crushing on to help you out by rubbing your body down.
The 100 ounce Mountain Dew mug will not only hold a lot of soda pop, but it will also match your sexy green booty shorts.
This particular mug is an exception, as this one is often cheaper to buy locally. If you can’t find the 100 oz Mountain Dew mug, then you can buy any gas station branded mugs.
44 oz mugs are easier to carry than a much larger 100 oz mug, but if this was a bag of weed, which would you prefer? Yes, size does matter.
Sexy Tank Top
To top off your outfit to top off your mug you need a top. Depending on your prude level, your body style, and the size of your breasts, there are a lot of things to consider when buying a tank top. Do you want ample cleavage showing or do you prefer little to no cleavage showing? Do you want a loose fitting tank for comfort or do you want a form fitting tank to show off the shape of your amateur boobs?
If you are unsure, then take a look at the black tank with the American flag on it. You can get it with a floral print, a colorful white flag, or a few other designs, but the black tank looks super sexy with the neon green booty shorts. I have seen plenty of women looking beautiful at the gas station soda dispenser, but if I saw you wearing this combo, I’d probably propose to you on the spot, as long as you were not getting a diet soda. Diet pop is awful and a deal breaker, no matter how hot you may be.